Sunday, October 30, 2005

My First Year of Marriage

First of all, thanks Pete for that nice comment you wrote regarding me and my wife. In roughly two weeks, on November 12th, by the grace of God my wife and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary. It has definitely been a challenging year, but a year filled with blessings. As most of you know already, my wife and I were married by a sedevacantist priest. Let me quickly ask all of you to say a prayer for this priest, Fr. Dominic, for he is a kind, humble soul, a God-fearing priest who is in love with the Lord. But he is leading souls astray due to his sedevacantist views. Please keep him in your prayers, that the Lord moves him to leave his schsim behind and to embrace the authority that God has set above him, and to humbly recognize Pope Benedict XVI as the Vicar of Christ on earth. But we were married by him, and within months both of us realized our mistake, and we repented and began the process of regaining full trust in the Magisterium. Pete Vere was instrumental for me at this point in my life; he took time to talk to me on the phone one night and helped answer many questions that were still unresolved in my head and heart, especially regarding the Sacred Liturgy. He then recommended to me a life-changing book called My Way of Life, put out by the Confraternity of the Precious Blood in 1952.

But this was spiritually a hard process for both my new wife and I. We had convinced several friends and family members that sedevacantism was the sure way to go in order to be a true Catholic, and now we had the painful task of telling them we were wrong. As a result, many close people lost respect for us, and many people who previously looked up to me when it came to catechesis and apologetics ceased talking to me, out of fear that they could not trust me anymore. The biggest hardship we had to endure came through my wife's family. Her family largely consists of lukewarm cafetaria Catholics, and we became the laughing stock of her family when they found out that I had made a mistake in trying earnestly to convert them all the previous few years. They figured that since I was wrong in regards to this area, then they did not need to listen to anything else I had to say regarding the faith. So they all comfortably settled back into their lukewarm Catholicism. To this day, my wife and I have barely any contact with any of them, though the Lord knows all of them are always in our prayers.

I have realized that marriage is not an easy thing that one quickly adapts to. It takes much prayer and sacrifice. Our Lord Jesus Christ must be the center of every marriage; indeed, He must be the heart and soul of every marriage. Otherwise, worldly ways will take their effect and depression, unhappiness, boredom, and dissatisfaction will kick in. My wife and I have made it a point to keep Christ as the focal point of our marriage. Every aspect of our marriage is focused solely on His Word. Every morning, afternoon, and night consists of prayer. Daily Eucharistic Adoration is a must. I teach catechism and Confirmation classes one night a week, and she is involved with our parish's choir. We both attend Bible Study and Benediction together every single Wednesday. And around the workplace, we are known as "those crazy Catholic nuts," a title we both proudly hold onto.

Our love for the Mass has continued to grow. Our involvement with the parish we now attend has been very positive. The pastor, Fr. Steve Guitron, is as solid and orthodox as a priest can get, and I have never met a pastor so in love with the faith and with the Eucharist.

We have made it a point to base our marriage around the Bible. We allow the Scriptures to be our guide, since they have God as their author. Rather than waste our time with self-help books by secular doctors, we spend an hour a night devoting our hearts and minds to reading the Sacred Scriptures and allowing God to speak to us through them in our marriage. We are fiercely loyal and obedient to Holy Mother Church.

In regards to trust, "The Lord is our strength and shield, in whom our hearts trust and find help. So our hearts rejoice; with our songs we praise God" (Psalm 28:7). We have both realized that, "The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones" (Luke 16:10). Thus, we put full trust in one another, since we both know that we are devoted entirely to Jesus Christ.

Communication, of course, is an essential quality of every happy and God-centered marriage. We strive to never allow anger to be our mode of communication, and immediately resort to prayer. "He who answers before he hears-- his is the folly and the shame" (Proverbs 18:13). "No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear... all bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ" (Ephesians 4:29-32).

Another important topic in marriage is finances. My wife says that communication is what she needs to continually pray on; for me, it is the financial aspect. But both of us are in agreement that money can not become the most important thing. It can not become an idol, as it does for others we know. When we die, we do not take a U-Haul with us to heaven filled with all of our earthly possessions. We stand naked before the Lord on Judgement Day. "For we brought nothing into the world, just as we shall not be able to take anything out of it... Those who want to be rich are falling into temptation and into a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires, which plung them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all evils" (1 Timothy 6:7-10). "Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have" (Hebrews 13:5).

Every night, we pray to God that He give us the grace and strength to be imitators of St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary, who are our primary examples in the faith as husband and wife.

So far, the Lord has not blessed us with children, although He knows that we are both so willing to receive such a blessing. So please keep us in your prayers in regards to this. Both of us desperately would love to be parents, but of course, it's all in God's hands, and when He feels the time is right, He will bless us in this way.

"When you enter the Sacrament of Matrimony, you and your spouse are both called to walk with the Lord-- together... In the Catholic vision of living together as man and wife, you both agree that the essential purpose of your marriage is to help each other reach your goal of eternal life... Christian marriage is the vocation to walk together with the Lord, helping each other on the path of salvation." (Marriage is for Keeps, John F. Kippley, pgs. 8-9)

For a wedding picture of my beautiful wife and I, go to

God bless, and keep the faith...